Alrighty then, I am really and truly sorry for the inconsistency in posting guys, it's not my fault though. Apparently, writing a blog that gets 4.39 readers a day isn't something that makes a lot of money. So instead, I went out and got an internship this summer. In other words, unlike before, I am now rolling in bank. My life has become like Shark Tale (not Finding Nemo), but replace water with money. Well either way, I've decided to take this free moment to try and restart posting and bringing the creme de la creme of ambiguous and strangely wordy hockey headlines. Today I'm going to compile a list of the teams whose off season moves have been making me smile, and whose have been making me roll down hills in wheel chairs in an attempt to discover something more painfully awful. Next to each team, I will put a rating from a scale of Mike Milbury's Islanders/Frustrated keyboard slapping, to three thumbs up.
Pittsburgh Penguins: Jump Up Triumphantly and Freeze in Mid-Air
That's how good their offseason has been. Though they didn't address the whole 'your best winger is Pascal "I'm a third liner on most teams" Dupuis', they managed to shore up a blue line that was in some desperate need of fine tuning. They let 1,729 year old Sergei Gonchar walk, and managed to spend their new cap space acquiring two of the game's best blue liners in Paul Martin and Zbynek Michalek. The Pens now arguably have the best blue line in the Atlantic, with Martin, Michalek, Letang, and Orpik rounding out their top four. There are rumors that Staal will be moved up to the second line to play with Geno, which makes a lot of sense, considering that they don't have a first line winger. Like I've always said, "If you've got it, always be sure to squander the talent by giving it less ice time." I say "it" because Jordan Staal is not human, nor are his brothers. They are like a Nordic clan of hockey gods: Thor-dan Staal, if you will. Either way those were two brilliant moves by them and for that they get a High School Musical Jump.
Tampa Bay Lightning: Good First Try for Stevie Y
Contract extension for St. Louis, getting Dan Ellis for half the price of Nittymaki, getting rid of Meszaros, and signing Pavel Kubina are all great moves for a GM to make in the opening of free agency. They're even better moves if you're a rookie. Stevie got a veteran goalie to push Mike Smith, and who can also be the team's starter if the situation calls for it. Pavel Kubina is a great, veteran, offensive defenseman who really shores up the team's blue line, and will prove to be a great mentor for the likes of Victor Hedman. Though the team is far from perfect, they could end up vying for a playoff spot this season given the state of many teams in the east.
Atlanta Thrashers: ...Or Should I Say Chicago Blackhawks?
Being a target for salary dumping can be good sometimes. It can be even better when you're receiving desirable assets from the current Stanley Cup winner for practically nothing. In a matter of weeks, Atlanta managed to immensely improve by adding Dustin Byfuglien, Ben Eager, Brent Sopel, and Andrew Ladd through trades, while also signing veteran goal tender Chris "Skull Cap From Lids" Mason. Their goalie situation is better now, with Mason handling things for now, and Pavelec ready to take the reigns in the future. Their blue line is better too, with Johnny Oduya still under contract, Brent Sopel now in the line up (yes, that is a step up from before, don't forget these are the Thrashers we're talking about), and youngsters like Zach Bogosian ready to contribute. They even have a possible first line (which would be a second line on all other teams) in Buff-Stuff, Niclas Bergfors, and Nik Antropov. If that doesn't work out there's plenty of wiggle room with other guys that can contribute like Evander Kane and Bryan Little. Here's the big issue for the Thrash though. Yes, they improved, but not where they need to. They need another blue liner, and a good one at that. Sopel should be a third pairing guy, and Bogosian should be a second. If they can get one more quality blue liner, they'll be in good enough shape defensively. Oduya is definitely a top pair guy for them, and if they can get a guy like Willie Mitchell, he can be Johnny's partner, as long as he stays healthy. Still, there's a desperate need for top line forwards. Though they now have excellent role players in the likes of Ladd and Eager in third line roles, and good players in the likes of Byfuglien as a second line player (which is what he is, at least at this point in his career). Antropov is also a second line guy really. Nevertheless, guys like Kane and Bergfors have the potential to be first liners. The team is shallowest at center, so an acquisition there would make the most sense, however, the best talent is available at wing. A guy like Frolov (who fits the whole defensively irresponsible, scoring-focused Atlanta model) would be a good fit for the right price in terms of getting first line talent, but a guy like Stempniak would be a much harder worker. Both bring risks, and I probably wouldn't sign either of them if I were in Atlanta's position.
Nashville: Slightly indifferent mouth that is leaning towards smiling, but not fully committed.
Los Preds did some things right this year. Firstly, they let Hamhuis (who's a second pairing defenseman, maybe a number two guy tops) walk, which was smart because it gave them cap space to work with, as did trading away RFA's Dustin Boyd and Dan Ellis. They have a plethora of young talent at the blue line, so they're all good defensively, and Pekka Rinne is more than capable of handling the crease. However, from there it starts to go down hill. They set themselves up right for success this offseason, but are not capitalizing. Firstly, they signed Lombardi to a contract that is worth way more than he contributes. 10.5 million over three years is a lot for a guy who's only broken fifty points once. But who knows, he did it on an offensively anemic team, maybe he'll flourish playing with a guy like Patric Hornqvist. They also signed Sergei Kostitsyn, a.k.a. the bad one. I mean he's not terrible, but he's an under-achiever. Worse comes to worse, he's only on for one year. Trading away Jason Arnott was also brilliant. Halischuk will be a very good player, most likely, and that move opened up a lot of cap. Still, the Preds must start signing more. They traded and let players walked so they could improve the offense, and the window is shrinking. The only guys left on the market are high risk-high reward, or old. You can fill out a roster and add punch with guys like Kariya and Guerin, but you can't build around them. If I were them I'd probably sign Frolov if he came at the right price, but either way the need is clear. They have guys that score on the second and third lines, but now they need some star power.
Other teams that did ok: New York Islanders for improving their putrid, putrid blue line with Mark Eaton and Milan Jurcina, Montreal Canadiens for being surprisingly balanced, all season everyone shat on them, but now this offseason everyone's saying they're actually the most balanced and in the position of least needy. Boston Bruins for getting Nathan Horton, but boo them for not getting rid of a center man and opening a hole in their defense. Rangers, though Boogaard is a mistake, the Eminger trade was genius, and there is a whole crop of recruits ready to make the jump. With McDonagh now signed, and Eminger there, Redden may actually be waived. Also, Biron is exactly the kind of back up they need. Anaheim for having the sickest draft ever in Emerson Etem and Cam Fowler, and signing Lydman. And finally St. Louis for acquiring Halak.
Yes, I know, not the teams that everyone mentions when they're thinking of who did a good job, but shut up. This is my website. I'll do what I want.
Here are a few that pleased the masochist demographic of their fan base.
Philadelphia Flyers
Trading for Hamhuis' rights was smart. He would have certainly made the Flyers the best defensive team in the East. Too bad he didn't sign. They need a goal tender, Evgeni Nabokov seemed to fit the bill, yet Leighton was resigned nonetheless, and Nabby is in Russia. They were solid offensively, literally the only need was in goal, yet they signed Nik Zherdev, thus forcing them over the cap and compelling them to trade Gagne, a valuable player, for next to nothing. They traded for Meszaros, a trade that was seen as very solid from the Tampa perspective, and seems a little dumb from the Philly one. What was a Cup contending team that needed to fill only one gap, has now become a cap crunch suffering nightmare. They are now worse offensively, about the same defensively (though they should be better), and still have no goalie. Oh woe is Philadelphia.
New Jersey Devils: The Curious Case Of Reverse Benjamin Button Syndrome
Many may not agree with me, but the Devils made some stupid moves. Tallinder and Volchenkov were both good pick ups, but Volchenkov got too many years. That is not the issue though. Here's the issue for the Devils. Their mentality is not in sync with their situation. They keep pushing to win a cup within a window of time that closed two years ago. Marty is old, Arnott (whom they traded for despite costing 4 mill and being 36) is way past his prime and way too expensive, and Langenbrunner and Elias are both at the end of their ropes. The only youth on the team worth anything is in Parise and Zajac. Their offense is anemic, a problem which is partially a result of the roster and partially of the system. But the biggest issue is they're trading their best young players. Cormier and Bergfors (along with two first rounders and some other picks) are now in Atlanta, and Halischuk is now in Nashville. Maybe as a Ranger fan I'm just shitting on the Devils, but I don't think that's it. I legitimately think that Lou is driving that team into the ground. Though he may not be there for it, they are slowly headed for a rebuilding period that will be both long, and painful.
Chicago Blackhawks: Think Leo Decaprio Being Domed in the Departed
What a terrible offseason for them. They win the Stanley Cup, the greatest of great rewards. It's like a twinkie that's been friend in God's sweat after he's been kicking ass and taking names in Ulama. Yes, they play Ulama in heaven. Then all of a sudden bam, seven players gone. Ladd, Ruff Buff, Sopel, Eager, Burrish, Versteeg, and Colin Fraser, not that anybody cares about Colin Fraser. Performance bonuses have wreaked havoc on their cap situation, as has the ill-advised Huet contract. With Niemi filing for arbitration, and Hjalmarsson getting signed to an offer sheet that was probably more than the 'Hawks wanted to pay, Chi-town is in trouble- to a certain extent. Honestly it doesn't make a huge difference. Their core is still in tact. Campbell, Keith, Nik H, Seabrook, Toews, Hossa, Kane, and Sharp are still there. But losing Versteeg and Buff hurts a lot. Both are exceptional role players who can be relied on for depth scoring. The Blackhawks will be ok, but they can't afford to lose anymore players.
Nashville Predators: Meh Enough To Be Put In Both
Their inability to sign put them here.
St. Louis Blues: Bueller? Bueller?
Seriously where are you guys? Get cracking.
Calgary Flames: You've gotta be making some sort of pun out of Jokinen and the hilarity of the Flames' offseason moves!
You have undoubtedly read all of the "You Must Be Jokinen!" headlines. They're idiots, enough said. Tanguay was actually an ok move because he was successful there, it's a one year deal, and he's coming cheap. However, Jokinen is just the stupidest signing I've ever heard of. That team is heading further and further down the drain unless they can start getting some talent in there fast. The core of Iginla, Regehr, and the Finn Himself (not Olli...) are aging fast. The mighty sure have fallen (from Duck status to goose, as a matter of fact).
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