Niemi To Be A Shark-Plans To Give Tinfoil Hat To GM As Thanks

Earlier this off season, an arbitrator rewarded Blackhawks goalie Antii Niemi with a one year contract worth 2.75 million dollars. The Blackhawks, not being the stupidest athletic organization to walk the earth, walked away from said deal and replaced the Finn with veteran net-minder Marty Turco. Despite this substitution (or as some would call it, this upgrade), Chicago did offer the Stanley Cup winning back-stopper a short term deal worth about two million dollars. However Niemi, proving himself to be one of the stupidest athletes to walk the earth, turned down this deal with the conviction that he would earn more on the free agent market...the same free agent market that is leaving dozens of able NHL players without jobs for the upcoming season.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and here we are: amidst reports that Niemi is signing a short term deal worth about two million dollars with The San Jose Sharks. For Niemi it makes sense, as he will play on a team that will compete with best in the west for a chance to make it into the Stanley Cup Finals. Of course, since it's the Sharks we're talking about, you can be sure that that competition will in fact turn into a race between them and The Canucks over who can exit the playoffs faster and more disappointingly. Yet you have to wonder what Niemi was thinking leaving Chicago in the first place. Though cap crunched, you can be sure that Chicago will always compete as long as they have Toews, Sharp, Kane, Hossa, Keith, Seabrook, and Campbell. Additionally, anyone looking at the free agent market for goalies this off season saw that teams were looking for cheap alternatives to the big ticket names available. Niemi wasn't going to get a big payday in this market, even if his stock hadn't fallen during the playoffs. So why would he leave?

He left because he was greedy, he wanted money, and being Finnish, I'm sure money is the only thing that can insulate the walls of his ice hut. Still, you have to wonder who's crazier- Niemi for leaving, Doug Wilson for signing him, or me for posting such a disrespectful depiction of the Finnish people on this fine website. The answer is not me, by the way. Doug Wilson had indicated that veteran Antero "Niitty, Make Me A Sandwich" Niittymaki, and youngster Thomas Greiss would round out a goaltending tandem that would "allow them to compete for a Cup". So why is Niemi being brought in? Does Wilson have a mediocrity fetish in addition to his well documented foot fetish? Who knows? Not me, the guy who forged all the documents highlighting his non existent foot fetish. No one can say what reasoning there is behind this move. I suppose they're hoping that Niemi and Niittymaki can push each other competitively, thus creating some sort of duo that will perform far above its ability. Either way, it's going to be a rough year in San Jose now that Rob Blake and Nabby are gone, that's for sure.