Ilya Kovalchuk- Countdown To Inauguration As Most Overpaid Player

I read something interesting today on Kovie's value as a franchise player, and his ability to serve as a nucleus for a Cup-winning team to be built around. Of course, it was interesting the same way baby bear cubs with mild down syndrome are interesting when dressed up as full-time professionals (nothing more fascinating than one in a nurse's outfit). It seems like the only thing that can be said about Kovalchuk is that he is the biggest free agent to go on the market since the lockout. The number floating around for him is as high as ten million dollars a year, apparently they want to pay him a dollar for every time he makes a defensive mistake. Kovalchuk is a garbage player. His tenure on the Devils proved that. He's a player who can be great on a bad team, because there, he can ignore his defensive responsibilities, play selfishly, and make the goal of the game to improve his stat sheet. On a team where it doesn't matter if they'll win or lose, like the Atlanta Thrashers, Kovie can just skate around and shoot the puck. Yet on a team like the Devils, where the goal is winning the game (which requires back checking), Kovalchuk fails. Though he scored almost a point a game, they weren't significant points, meaning they weren't clutch. Though Kovie can score 50 plus goals in a season, he can't score a goal with a minute left in the game to send it into OT. He'll score because he spends all game standing in a position that will allow him to rip a one timer past the goalie, or allow him snipe one past with a wrister. There are players that have that ability to come up big- Kovie's not one of them.
He also doesn't play defense. His supporters say that he doesn't need to because his job is to score goals. But that's not an excuse. My job is just to sweep up hair from the floor at a hair salon, but does that mean that it's not expected of me to pick up tufts of it and sniff it sensually? Players always need to play defense. Even if players can get away with not playing it in the regular season, once the post-season comes around you can be sure that everyone is coming back on the back check. Kovie's untested in the playoffs, never produces in clutch situations, and is incredibly one-dimensional. Though older, at least Marleau can play winger and center, and is defensively responsible. I'd take him over Kovie any day. Nevertheless, Kovie will land a big contract somewhere, perhaps in LA if Frolov (whose been offered a contract in KHL and also plays left wing) ends up getting cleared off the books. Then again, he could pull a Tkachuk and end up going back to Atlanta, though that's highly unlikely. I personally hope he somehow ends up on the Islanders, then because on the off chance that I meet him, I can steal his wallet and throw it behind him, thus preventing him from retrieving it and forcing him to rely on someone else to do it for him.