Chris Pronger, agitator extraordinaire and world renowned douche monkey, stole the pucks from Games One and Two of the Stanley Cup Finals, for those of you who haven't heard. Those in Chicago who already assumed that the Blackhawks were going to win the series were furious at the lost opportunity to sell some sweet merch. However, the more appropriate response would be fear. Sure, he's taking pucks now, but who knows what he'll take next time he's in Chicago- The Reebok tag off of the Jordan statue's sweater? A chunk of the city's collective? Jon Toews' virginity? (Let's face it, Patrick Kane, or more specifically his mullet, is a poon magnet). When asked about the incident Pronger said that the pucks were in the trash where they belonged, and said that Ben Eager did not take kindly to the gesture saying that apparently "Little things amuse little minds". Actual Quote right there. First one on the site. Ever. Upon being asked to respond to Pronger's quip, Eager replied by emitting a guttural cry and beating his chest fiercely. God, who doesn't love irony? I'll tell you who, people with hemochromatosis- look that shit up.
Either way the tactic, seemingly taken straight from Niccobro Machiavelli's "The Douche", has yielded its intended benefits. The Flyers won Game 3 in OT, and Christopher "I Spit in Children's Ice Cream" Pronger was a thorn in their side all night. Some people have called his actions "Bush League" (cough, Jeremy Roenick, cough) which is ironic because that is coming from a guy who just months ago said Chris Drury had no place on the US Olympic team and was a terrible hockey player, which in my opinion was an incredibly classless thing to say about a stand-up guy like Drury, ignoring the decline of his quality of offensive production. Now I'm not saying that Pronger has gone from assy to classy overnight, in fact, I think his actions say quite the opposite. But this series-and this postseason- have really allowed me to have new found respect for Pronger as a leader, and as a competitor. Though his actions may seem juvenile, he's doing what he needs to to get his team the Cup. He's showing the guys around him that there's no reason for the 'Hawks to celebrate just yet, and he's demonstrating the kind of grittiness and resilience that is needed to bring the chalice home- and the kind of determination that Flyers displayed last night. I hate the Flyers, the 'Hawks should still win (though they've looked like ass so far compared to the Sharks series), and the West still bitterly rapes the East, but boy, oh boy, do I love Chris Pronger.
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